Smart Summer Tour
Smart USA picked an odd weekend in Los Angeles to start its road show. Memorial Day is, at least in LA, traditionally a time when locals get out-of-town. The general rule is anywhere but here because nothing is going on in LA. And it wasn't just stupid timing for attracting LA locals; the location was stupid too. It was held at Urban Outfitters on Melrose Avenue in the terminally hip and congested Melrose shopping district between Fairfax and La Brea.
The show and test drives began at 11am on Saturday and Sunday. In order to get a test drive you had to wait in line to sign a liability waiver and get wrapped with a Smart wrist band. 
You then stood in another long line, in the sun, to test drive one of the six cars at the event.
Let me say right now that six cars aren't enough when the passenger has to be the factory specialist. People who would have been happy to just go for the ride had to wait their turn to drive if they wanted to experience the feel of the car on the road. The sign up was fast enough; however, even my short test drive of three minutes meant that they could only service six people every 20 minutes. That's only 36 people an hour and when you are number 37 in line -- that's one long wait!
The test drive itself was horribly inadequate. Whoever thought that Melrose Avenue and its surrounding jammed, narrow residential streets was a good location for this event should be fired. The test drive was exactly two blocks south, two blocks west, two blocks north and two blocks east. That's exactly four right turns. There is a stop sign at every intersection save the two block home stretch of Melrose. You didn't get a chance to park, make a U turn, back up or really even shift past second gear. The test drives were all done in automatic mode. I wanted to try the shifter, but what's the point? I never got past about 20 mph.
Missing from our event was a promised eighteen-wheeler tractor-trailer filled with everything Smart. Of course, there would be no place to park one on Melrose even if one was available. Good thinking, huh? Instead we got a slick toy hauler trailer with some nice illustrations on the walls and a few laptops plumbed to the internet so you could research and place a $99 reservation for the Smart ForTwo of your choice.
Smart used young women in the signup tent and young (but bored) men as test-drive "specialists". The young women, I assume, were placed on the sidewalk to snag the eye of men as they walked or drove by Urban Outfitters. The young men, outfitted with ear-pieces and walkie-talkies were trained in exactly nothing. I don't know if there was a deliberate separation of duties by sex, but it did seem odd that the duties were so distinctly segregated.
How do I know that the test drive product "specialists" were clueless? It was easy; just ask them any question about the product or marketing plans. The general answer was "I don't know". It was the answer to these questions:
1. Do you know of any selected dealers in this area?
2. Does this car have electric power steering?
3. Will I be able to get satellite radio with the car?
4. Will you be able to get leather seats in the car?
5. Is there an option for seats with a thigh or height adjustment?
6. Who makes the engine for this car?
When I asked about option packages and things that I know are available on European versions of the car, I was told that the cars came "fully loaded". I was driving a Passion model (one up from the base Pure) but it didn't have the adorable instrument pods that sprout from the center of the dash. One of the other testers, also a Passion, had the instrument pods. I pointed this out to my specialist and his response was "oh yeah, I think you can add some stuff."
If you simply read the Smart website or any of its email communications you would know that Smart plans on offering at least a few option packages in addition to several dealer-supplied accessories.
The one thing my guy knew (although he wasn't sure) was that he was employed by Mercedes-Benz/Smart Division and not Roger Penske's United Auto Group. He also seemed to think that there would be a Smart dealer is Covina or West Covina. That helps when you're in Hollywood, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills area, right? Of course there is going to be one there because Mr. Penske is building a brand new gigantic Mercedes-Benz dealer out there and I'm sure a Smart store is part of the plans. It's on the north side of the 10 freeway and you can't miss it as you drive out to Palm Springs.
They had a black ForTwo sitting on the sidewalk on Melrose. It was unattended and you could maul it at will. I don't know if the small car survived the day, but as time went on, it took some pretty hard wear and tear as people open, shut, adjusted and pulled just about every movable (and some non-movable) parts of the car.
The rear hatch is pretty handy as it opens up like a regular hatchback and the bottom part folds down to create a mini tailgate. It reminds me most of a BMW X5 rear, albeit in miniature form. There is a cute little tool, handbook and umbrella holding area inside the tailgate. The passenger seat supposedly folds forward to give long items a chance to fit inside. Just don't bring a passenger.
The driving experience was about as unappealing as I've ever experienced. When I disengaged the handbrake and put the car in gear, nothing happened. The car just sat. I gave it some gas, the engine made a bit of noise, but forward motion was still not forthcoming. I ended up hitting the gas a bit harder, but I had to be careful because heading down a small side street with opposite direction traffic in a new car is a bit difficult if you don't have a feel for anything the car would do.
The steering was dead. That's right, dead -- zero feel. My Smart specialist told me that the car didn't have power steering; however, he said that the cars coming in January would have power steering. It felt like it had power assist to me. There was little effort moving the steering wheel, even at parking speed. And there was certainly no connection between the rubber and the road. Perhaps the car needed better tires -- there must be some way to feel the steering, right?
I was hoping for some better driving experience. When I zipped around Paris in my friend's ForTwo a couple years ago, at least I had some rough, gritty mechanical "fun" -- like hanging onto the front bar at Mr. Toad's Wild Ride -- or even a go cart feel. I didn't get anything from the revamped version. Perhaps I just need more time behind the wheel at speeds exceeding 20 mph to force some fun into this little car.
However, the people there to drive the car loved it. They thought it was cute -- which it is. But above all, they were all looking for it to be economical. The guy in line next to me thought he could sell his Hyundai and get one of these for only another $5,000. [Of course, that's wishful thinking that he could sell any Hyundai for $10,000.] Others looked at as a cute, inexpensive, economical convertible (at $17,000). Some even were interested in the interchangeable plastic colored body panels. I'm sure a set of those will set you back a chunk of change!
Here's the link to the Smart USA "Street Smart" Road Show. They don't make it easy to find the actual locations. There is a very small "click here" link to show you the actual map and then you have to place your mouse on the map locations to get a list of events in your area. Here's the link. The map is updated regularly so keep checking back to see if another date or location has been added in your area.
Even if you have put a deposit down on a ForTwo or you've signed up for updates from the website, don't count on being notified by email as to when the Smart Road Show will hit your community. I didn't get any notification of the event last weekend and I live only about 2.5 miles from the event!
